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Another Time
"Another Time" is the 35th episode of Once Upon a Virus. Summary Joe and Liz have accidentally been sent back in time to the land of Wikia, before the Virus was enacted, and must find a way to get back to the present day. This leads to many trials and tribulations, and allows for Joe to witness a multitude of his friends, family and acquaintances as their old personas, including his parents, DeviousPeep and, unfortunately for him, the Evil Bureaucrat. Plot A young Joe is seen in the basement bedroom that he's often confined to in the home of the Kahns as he sneaks up the stairs, trying not to trick any creaky steps, and out of the door, wanting to make it so that his adoptive parents are unable to hear him. He's very hungry, and so he approaches the kitchen, walking past the living room as he does so and appearing content that Gabrielle and Mike are sitting on the couch and watching TV, not noticing him go by. Joe manages to open the fridge, wanting to sneak some food, but Gabrielle suddenly announces that she wants to fetch more of her and her husband's McCutcheon scotch from the kitchen. Hearing this, Joe panics, and he's unable to move in the time it takes Gabrielle to get there. Her jaw drops and she screams for Mike to get in here; he does, wondering what's wrong, and his wife tells him that their so-called son was attempting to steal from their fridge. "Ungrateful little…" Mike spits, moving forward and grabbing Joe by the ear. Gabrielle smiles, reminding Joe that he's already been fed today, and he flinches with pain as his adoptive father carries him back to the basement. "I thought I could trust you not to leave your room if I left it unlocked," says Mike, "I guess I was wrong." And then the door is slammed in his face, and Mike locks it. Joe sighs sadly, heading down the stairs and to his bed. He sits down on it and the shot moves out, making him look as completely isolated as he feels. Just like now, as he and Liz remain stranded in the forest they woke up in. "Wait a second," Liz says, taking a closer look at the trees and wildlife, "I recognize this place…" "You do?" Joe asks, confused, and she reveals to him that this is the Once Upon a Time Wiki. "Um… are you sure?" Joe checks, "Because I've been to the Once Upon a Time Wiki – a lot more recently than you have – and… the Virus had turned most of it into a barren wasteland. The forestry certainly wasn't this… green." "I grew up here," Liz reminds him, "This is definitely Wikia. I'm sure of it." They begin to walk through the mysterious woodland, wondering amongst themselves how they even came to be there. Joe recalls the both of them touching Dlrgirl75 just as she was about to use that "wand-thingy" in her hand, and suggests that maybe that has something to do with it. "You're saying your old genie forced us across lands?" Liz wonders, to which Joe replies, "By accident, maybe?" They're now at a road that runs through the forest, and a carriage nears them. Inside is Villain fan, the snotty and uptight young Administrator of Lostpedia. "Ew," he says, spotting Joe and Liz from where he's seated, "What are those two peasants wearing? Driver, please speed up through these parts. I believe this wiki to be full of freaks and I want to be back home bathing in my palace as soon as possible." The driver nods, forcing the horses to go faster, and Joe and Liz just stand there, shocked. "Was that…?" she utters. "Has James 1234 put me under another spell…?" Joe theorizes (see "Inner Demons"). They walk a little further, past some thick trees, and eventually come across a thriving peasant village, filled with people of the era. "How is this possible?" Liz demands, at which Joe turns to her and says, "Did I mention that Dlrgirl has turned back time before?" Dlrgirl75, meanwhile (kind of), is staring down at Justine who, along with her father, is crouched over the dead body of her mother, Primadonna Girl. "Rachel…" the beautiful blonde repeats, looking up at the former genie, "Where's Joe?" "I… er… ah, crap," she says in reply. "What is it?" Rena asks, stepping in closer, and Tiago proceeds to ask if his grandson is okay. "Here's the thing," Dlrgirl explains to the group, "When I reversed time… Joe and that Liz girl sort of… well, they burst in, and they touched me as I was performing the spell, so…" "So… what does that mean?" Josh asks her from down on the floor, and Dlr says, "It could have affected them in a more direct way." "Are you saying…?" Peep asks, stepping forward also. "Yeah," Dlr confirms, "It's possible that Joe and Liz are lost in time." Everyone around looks stunned and worried. "We're stranded in the past…" Liz realizes, and Joe says that it would seem like it, yes. "Hide your valuables!" yells a peasant who comes running through the village – it's Sannse, and she warns all of her neighbors that the Evil Bureaucrat is on his way to collect taxes. This sparks mass panic within the villagers, but Joe and Liz appear even more frightened, with the former asking Storywik's sheriff if there's any chance that his father's perception filter spell hasn't worn off yet. "Based on the way Villain fan back there insulted us, and how much these people have been staring at the way we're dressed… I'm gonna go with no," Liz tells him, and he exclaims, "Dammit!" through whisper, suggesting that they hide. As the Evil Bureaucrat's black carriage approaches – pulled by equally black horses, ridden by equally black Mods – Joe and Liz duck behind the large trees behind them, looking very wearisome indeed. The carriage soon comes to a halt and springs open, allowing for Reginafan2626, in all of his black and regal glory, to step out. He is gripping his scythe tightly. Joe watches this through the tree's branches, whispering to Liz, "That's Josh? He looks like a Drag Queen…" Liz shushes him, however, and he goes back to hiding. "Moderators," Reginafan calls, snapping his fingers with his free hand, "Line up the villagers." The Black Mods nod and begin to pull people from out of their huts, with Joe and Liz fearing the entire time that just one of these blundering guards will discover them and bring them before the Bureaucrat; luckily, this doesn't come to pass, and Reginafan is left with two neat lines of peasants for him to pace in between. "As I'm sure you're all aware, this Wiki has undergone a new and… rather strict tax regime… and this particular village is late in its payments to me." "Your majesty…" Sannse utters, stepping forward, and Reginafan laughs, questioning to himself, "An upriser?" "No," Sannse promises, "Never, I… I just wanted to offer you an explanation, i-is all…" "Well, by all means," the cruel leader beckons, getting scarily close to her, "Explain." "This regime… paying it would mean that most of us wouldn't be able to make end's meat. This is a particularly poor village, and—" "Let me just stop you there, dear," Reginafan says, holding his finger up to her; he proceeds to snap said fingers, and a pretty peasant girl from behind him comes forward, holding a list scrawled on a piece of parchment. The peasant then undergoes a transformation, revealing herself to have been DisneyMeerkats, who hands the list to its sire. "Thank you, Disney," Reginafan tells his troll lackey, and Joe, seeing this, mouths "Valentina?" to Liz – Liz nods. "I can smell her from here…" Joe comments, but Liz once again shushes him. "It is no problem, master," Disney assures, and Reginafan explains to Sannse – as well as the entirety of the village – that he planted his trusted associate DisneyMeerkats in their ranks in order to create an inventory of the various valuables that this village has to offer. "Based on this list," he finishes, "You should have no trouble paying your taxes at all." He then orders his Black Mods to scour each and every pathetic hovel and rob them blind – anything of value that they come across is to be stashed away and added to the sysop treasury. "Isn't this new regime just great?" "If Reginafan2626 comes to our church and tries to extort taxes from us," DeviousPeep is heard saying in the large yet secluded garden behind her church, "He has got another thing coming." We then see that she's wielding a shovel, and the lifeless body of her twin sister Divina Peep lies next to her. "I just can't be dealing with him on a day like today," she adds as she continues to bury the sibling she murdered. Joe and Liz have made their way back into the woods, wondering what their next move is. "Well, we obviously gotta find a way back to our time," Liz tells him, at which he snaps, "Ya' think?!" She recoils a little, and Joe sighs, apologizing for his abrasive nature and explaining that he just wants to be able to get back home and mourn his mother properly. Liz approaches him and holds his hand as a sign of comfort, offering her condolences, and he thanks her, then wondering if she has any ideas on the whole "getting back" front. She admits that she does not, and Joe ponders the situation for a while, eventually suggesting, "Dlrgirl75!" "What?" Liz asks, and Joe explains how she should still be in Wikia during this time, so all they need to do is find her and make a wish for her to send them to Storywik in the future – "Or, more specifically, you'll have to make a wish; I've already been her master." "Okay…" Liz considers, "But first, we'll have to find a way of navigating this land without being spotted by anyone we know. If they see us before our first meeting with them it could have catastrophic effects on the timeline…" "Jeez, we sound like the stars of some cheesy '80s movie," Joe points out, and Liz smiles, going on to say that she thinks she knows where their first stop needs to be. "Where?" Joe wants to know, but Liz simply tells him to follow her and stick to the shadows. The time-travelling duo are next seen approaching the large church of the Wiki Witches of the West, and Joe, recognizing it as the place where Primadonna Girl had her birthing ritual (see "Bridge Over Broken Water"), wonders what they're doing there, pointing out that they could be recognized by past Joanna. "Relax," says Liz, "We're not here for DeviousPeep… we're here for DavidTennantismyAngel." "You mean that frumpy girl that ran after Joanna as she was taking over the world?" "That's the one. She used to be a friend of mine and… she's pretty stupid. She probably won't even notice that the two of us are out of place with the rest of this time period." Joe asks Liz how she plans to lure David out of the church, but, before he can even finish the question, Liz is already positioning her hands in front of her mouth and making a strange "moo"ing sound, like a cow. "Mommy?" David utters, having heard the noise and wandered out of the church, and Liz pokes her head out from around the corner and beckons her former schoolteacher towards her. "ImmaGleek?!" David exclaims happily, approaching her with open arms, but Imma shushes her, telling her to move with discretion. David is soon standing with she and Joe out of sight, and she asks her old student, "Who's this handsome fellow? Is he your boyfriend?" This sparks an awkward silence between Joe and Liz, but the latter eventually breaks it by saying to the incompetent Blood Wiccan that they need for her to do them a favor. "Of course, anything!" David assures, "And can I just say that I'm loving this new fashion trend you're trying to set?" "Yeah, great – listen. I need for you to put me and my friend here under a glamour spell. Can you do that?" Liz requests. "Sure!" David reveals, "I got real good at glamour spells. I used to use them on myself so that my brother wouldn't recognize me. Lemme just charge up the ol' magic-makers." She claps her hands together and develops a glowing ball of energy in between, which unexpectedly fires off and hits a tree, giving it a face by accident. "Oops," she says, "Guess I'm a little rusty." Joe quietly asks Liz is they should be entrusting this girl with their faces, but Liz assures him that they'll be fine, and gives David another crack at it. She flares up more light between her hands and, soon enough, the glamour spell is worked over Joe and Liz. "You still look the same…" Joe tells the sheriff, but she tells him to look in his reflection in the stain glass window. He does, and sees two different people staring back at him (although they both look the same to each other and to the audience). "Thank you, David," says Liz, and David tells her, "No problem, Imma," and gives off a little salute. "Now we can get back to tracking Dlrgirl," Joe adds. "How are we going to find one golden lamp with a whole land to search?" Liz wonders, but Joe corrects in saying that, at this point in time, Dlr doesn't have her golden lamp yet – she's still using her genie's bottle. "You guys are searching for a genie's bottle?" David asks ("Oh… you're still here… okay…" utters Joe), "We just added one to our inventory!" "What?" Liz asks, shocked, and David nods, explaining how one of the witches of the coven happened upon it and turned it in to BelleLover without making the genie inside her master. Joe and Liz turn toward one another and nod, and David asks ImmaGleek if she can introduce her to her new friends, seeing that two witches are approaching the church right now. "Hey, guys!" David calls out, but Liz quickly pulls her back out of sight, keeping one arm round her former teacher's throat while her other arm's hand covers her mouth. Soon enough, DavidTennantismyAngel drops to the ground, unconscious, while the two witches she called out to shrug off the noise they think they heard and continue on inside. "So… how're we gonna get inside to steal the bottle?" Liz wonders, and Joe stares down at the sleeping witch at their feet. A small while later, Liz emerges from behind a tree dressed in the general uniform of a Blood Wiccan, while the unconscious David has been swathed in a few scraps of Liz's sheriff's uniform. "Wow…" Joe says upon seeing her, proceeding to giggle a little. Liz orders him to stop finding this funny, commenting that she feels very exposed and objectified; "And not to mention anti-feminist. These bikini things leave nothing to the imagination!" "Fine by me…" Joe comments, but she again tells him to stop, composing herself. "So, would you buy me as a witch?" "Oh, is that what they called strippers in these days?" "Come on, be serious!" Liz begs, and Joe assures her that she looks fine, proceeding to wish her luck in her upcoming task. He's already described to her what the bottle looks like, having seen it amidst Natalia's memories (see "The Savior"), and Liz thanks him before approaching the church's entrance. She goes in and sees that BelleLover is standing tall on a nearby platform. The other witches of the coven are converging around her, for she's about to give a speech, and so Liz joins them, wanting to blend in. Joe, meanwhile, is waiting outside with DavidTennantismyAngel, who starts to snore. He sits down, bored, but then he notices something in the distance – a peasant man being hassled by a couple of Reginafan's Black Mods. He knows he's not supposed to change anything… but he can't help himself. He has to go and rescue this man. It isn't long before he gets to his feet and begins to approach the scene. Inside the church, the scantily-clad Liz attempts to push her way through the crowd of similarly skimpy witches who have gathered to hear BelleLover speak. Belle briefly pokes her head out the window and calls for Peep to come inside, for she's about to address the witches, and so Peep is forced to abandon her shovelling and leave her sister's body lying in the mud (her mother doesn't see this, of course). Once Peep is seated atop the same platform that Belle is standing on, Belle begins to speak, all the while Liz is scanning the items displayed around the hall for Dlrgirl75's genie bottle. "Where is it?" she grumbles to herself, having to adjust her bikini, but then she looks up and sees Belle take the bottle out from behind her back, thus revealing what her speech is all about. She explains how she has yet to rub the surface of this bottle, for she doesn't want to be the genie's master – "I believe that the magic we can extract from this creature is powerful enough to make real progress in our shared cause. Witches… this bottle could help get us all to Earth!" The witches all clap, and Liz half-heartedly joins in, rolling her eyes as Belle proceeds to say, "Now let me just say a few words about sisterhood…" Two Black Mods appear very amused with themselves as they torment a poor peasant, who is currently on his knees and being forced to kiss their boot, when Joe approaches, yelling, "Hey!" The peasant shuffles backwards and the Mods draw their swords, leading Joe to tell them that he'd put those weapons away were he in their position. They appear confused, and Joe goes on to gloat, "I am one of the most powerful warlocks amidst the Wiki Witches of the West," he gestures the church in the near-distance behind him, "And you shall both leave these premises or else you'll be torn asunder by my very potent magical powers!" They don't know whether to trust him or not, still not dropping their weapons, at which Joe flares one of his palms, asking if they'd like to take it up with one of his fireballs. They soon sigh and sheath their swords, proceeding to walk away as Joe helps the peasant man to his feet – he's shocked to realize that the man whose life he just saved is his father, Rena Charming. "Thank you," Rena tells the fellow young man, "Very much. You're a kind… warlock?" "Oh…" Joe utters, lost for words, "I'm, uh, I'm not really a warlock." "Well," Rena smiles, "I had a hunch." He then picks a sword up from the grass – it's beautifully crafted, and Rena explains how he made it himself. Joe wonders why he didn't use it against the Mods, but Rena reveals that the first thing they made him do was drop his weapon; "They love playing with the poor…" "Well… good day to you," Joe tells him, but Rena begs for this kind man to wait, holding out his sword and saying that he wants him to have it. "Oh," Joe says, "I couldn't, I…" "I insist," Rena adds, "I've made plenty more with my father back at the market, this shan't be missed." "If… if you're sure," Joe clarifies, and Rena smiles as he passes the sword over to his son. "Thank you," says Joe. "Thank you," says Rena, and the two men finally bid each other goodbye before parting ways. Joe stares down at his new sword, touched. Liz has made her way to the very front of the witch crowd for a better chance of swiping the bottle, which has been set down on a table behind Belle, who continues to drone on. Liz once again needs to adjust her bikini-like outfit, and Peep, who continues to sit on a chair on the platform next to her mother, sees this, and appears curious. "Hold on, mother," she says, getting to her feet. "Peep?" Belle questions, having to end her speech abruptly, and Liz appears nervous and DeviousPeep approaches her… and then she points the sheriff out. "This one," she declares, "She is no witch… I can smell it on her." "But we have the right amount of numbers," Belle points out, to which Peep informs her that DavidTennantismyAngel is absent; "This one was clever… she exploited the fact that we try desperately to avoid gazing upon that ugly bitch's face. But this isn't her… she's far too pretty, and she clearly doesn't know how to pull this off." She gestures her own outfit, before grabbing Liz by the hair, using it to pull her up onto the platform. Frightened, Liz makes a desperate grab for the bottle, but Peep's magic quickly forces her into the chair that she was previously seen sitting in, and Liz is tied in place by magical rope before she even knows what's occurring. "Ah, ah, ah," Peep warns, wagging her index finger in the ginger's face, "Who are you…?" Liz gulps in fear. Joe can be seen making his way back towards Peep's church with his father's sword in tow when the Evil Bureaucrat's carriage pulls up outside, there to collect taxes from the Wiki Witches of the West. Joe sees Liz strapped to a chair as Peep and Belle tower over her; the rest of the witches have dispersed now, and he appears very worried indeed. "You there," Reginafan2626 spots as he steps out of his black carriage, "What a lovely sword… who did you steal it from?" "N-no one…" Joe utters, to which the Bureau smiles evilly and says, "Of course… I take it you haven't paid your taxes? Such a sword would make a fine deposit." "You… can't have it," Joe declares nervously, and Reginafan frowns, pointing out that him asking was a mere formality. He then orders his nearby Black Mods to seize Joe and add his sword to today's stash. They do just that, forcing the sword from his hand, and the Evil Bureaucrat decrees that this insolent young man is to be arrested and thrown in with the other prisoners… "Today's beheadings shall be bountiful…" Joe struggles against the Black Mods but is ultimately thrown into the trailer full of (today's) prisoners that follows the black carriage while Reginafan heads inside the church, scythe standing tall. "What do you want, Reginafan?" BelleLover asks upon his entry, but he tells her that the correct form of address is 'your majesty'. "If you keep telling me how to talk in my own home, I'll give you a new place to stick that scythe," BelleLover promises, "Peep, my dear, can you take care of… everything? Mommy needs to relax." And, with that, she melts into a puddle of blood and rises up the walls. "DeviousPeep," Reginafan greets as he steps up onto the platform, "Hostage girl," he nods at Liz, whose predicament he clearly cares nothing about. "We're not paying your stupid taxes," Peep tells him. "Aw… surely you can put in some sort of down payment? This, for instance, looks very valuable." He swipes up the genie's bottle, and Liz's eyes widen with fear. Peep tries to grab it back from him but he moves it out of reach, telling her that he expects the full payment within the month before leaving with Dlrgirl75 in tow. Reginafan's horses, carriage and trailer full of doomed prisoners can be seen riding back to the palace, and when they pull up outside the lush castle, Joe is forced to step out of said trailer in shackles, which keep him attached to all the other prisoners. All of them are walked in a line by the Black Mods, and the Evil Bureaucrat approaches the door to his palace. MaryPierceLopez opens them up, dressed in her maid's uniform, and Joe is shocked to see her standing there, clearly disapproving of her boss and the many people he plans on killing. "Spare me your judgemental looks, maid," Reginafan tells her, "The only reason you're not a part of this line is because nobody can launder my velvets like you." She steps aside, saying, "Alright, your majesty," and allows he, his Mods and all the prisoners to enter. "Take them out back to the chopping block and gather a crowd," the Bureau orders his Mods, "I'm in the mood for a show." DisneyMeerkats then shows up and Reginafan hands her a sack which contains his stash of goods, including Rena's sword and Dlr's lamp. He tells the troll to have it placed in the sysop treasury, and it nods, walking away with the sack. Joe keeps staring at Mary as he's walked away, wanting to reach out to her, but then he sees someone else that makes his heart stop for a moment: Lady Junky – his mother, who he still believes to be dead. He begins to tear up, the grief still fresh, as Lady approaches her father, demanding to know what he's doing with these prisoners. "Lady, Lady, Lady…" Reginafan says, "If you don't want to witness the execution, you don't have to attend." "I would rather there was no execution at all!" the Administrator complains, but Reginafan tells her that she's being nonsensical, ordering that she return to her room. Joe enters an almost catatonic state as he stares at his living, breathing mother, but then a Black Mod smacks him around the face, and he's forced to go forward with the rest of the damned. Joe's head is forced down on the chopping block, the latest in a long line of prisoners to lose their head in front of a roaring crowd, and the Evil Bureaucrat, from his viewing box, sentences him to death before the executioner can raise his axe. "You can't kill me!" Joe struggles, being forced down, "You don't understand what will happen!" Suddenly, Reginafan2626 disappears from his viewing box, appearing beside Joe in a flurry of black smoke. "Executioner, you are excused from this prisoner," he decrees, "His incessant whining has annoyed me enough to want to end his life myself." The executioner nods, stepping away with his axe in tow, and Joe closes his eyes in fright as Reginafan raises his scythe… and then drops it. It digs into Joe's throat, making his blood spray everywhere, but it doesn't kill him. His eyes turn purple, and Jdg98 is released. His magic forces the Evil Bureaucrat, the executioner and all the other prisoners who have been sentenced to death to go flying backwards, and his massive neck wound seals itself up nice and cleanly. Jdg gets to his feet, and then he gets off of them, hovering above the chopping block. Reginafan is unconscious and doesn't see this, but the crowd is awestruck and confused. Jdg smiles wickedly, happy to be free yet again, and he summons the scythe that was in his neck into his hand. "What a lovely blade…" he comments, "But I prefer my father's." He throws the scythe to the floor before teleporting away in a flash, appearing in the sysop treasury. Dlrgirl75 watches from inside her lamp as he hovers through the mountains of gold, looking afraid, and as he searches for the very well-crafted sword Rena gave him, he comes across something which puts a much bigger smile on his face: the Bot Seal. "Well, well…" he utters, staring down at the ancient prison, "Isn't this interesting?" He waves his hand and, with his magic, the un-un-lockable seal unlocks, opening up. Tiny creatures that resemble slivers of shadow mixed with electrical energy begin to file out. Bots. After a millennia, they are free. Free to possess the people of Wikia. Jdg's magic smashes all the windows, and all of the bots are able to escape into the world. He cackles as they do so, proceeding to catch his reflection in some nearby polished gold. "A glamour spell…" he realizes, admiring his face, "I like it." Outside, in the land of Wikia the was, bots fill the sky, laughing an evil cackle as they do so. Random villagers are possessed by them, as are noblemen, Bureaucrats, Admins; all manner of people. These vile things open up their victims' mouths and crawl down their throats, controlling them from then on out. They begin damaging property, and people. They're violent. Mad. Restless. In the garden of the church of the Wiki Witches of the West, a bot crawls down the throat of Divina Peep's body. After a while spent healing, her eyes spring open. Meanwhile, Jdg98 remains in the sysop treasury, laughing at the mass destruction he's just let loose. Category:Season 3 Category:Episodes Category:Joe-Centric